


The Truth is Out There

by anarchycox



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coulson is such a dad, Drugging, F/M, Fluff, Get together fic, Mystery Villain, Sweet, Truth Serum, alternate s5, honestly the whole team are dorks, slightly crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: A Philinda Secret Santa fic with the prompt: don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.I wrote a sweet and slightly crackish alternate for what happens after they are all cornered at the diner at the end of season 4.





	The Truth is Out There

**Author's Note:**

> at maos2013, I hope you enjoy this gift!!!!!

“Why?” Phil groans as he wakes up. “Why do they have to use the knock out drugs that have a lingering hangover feel? They make perfectly nice ones, where you wake up clear and happy and have dreamt of mermaids.”

“Mermaids?” Daisy asks as she comes to as well.

“You don’t dream of mermaids when knocked out?”

Daisy gives him a look. “No, I’m not an 8 year old girl.”

“Huh, wonder if I should look into that,” Phil says thoughtfully.

“Maybe we should look into where the rest of the team is?” Daisy looks around their tiny cell.

“Well I see Mack and Fitz,” Phil says and point across the way. Mack is up and pacing, Fitz is still out. “Mack,” Phil calls out and Mack looks over.

“Boss, where’s?”

“Here,” Yo Yo shouts, “Jemma is with me.” 

Phil can see Mack’s shoulders fall in relief, but feels himself tensing up. “Where’s May?” he asks. “Can anyone see her?”

The others respond in the negative and Phil bashes at the bars, attempting to break them or make enough noise to call a guard. Something. Daisy tries and it does nothing. The noise wakes up Fitz and Jemma though, and eventually all of them are just making a hell of a lot of noise.

They all quiet though when three guards escort May into the centre of the space and sit her down in a chair and cuff her in. She doesn’t look hurt from what anyone could tell but there is a stiffness to her.

A loudspeaker crackles. “We’ve created a new drug. Not just a truth serum, though Melinda May has been injected with that, but a truth enducer for others.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Jemma asks.

“I’m glad you asked Dr. Simmons,” the distorted voice says and the three cells fill with a smoke. The six choke on it but it then dissipated soon enough.

Phil smacks his lips. “That didn’t taste like normal truth serum, more lemony.”

“Had to give it a little flair,” the voice calls out. “And all of you have been dosed with something interesting. It will make you want to know the truth.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Jemma protests.

“It does now,” the voice replies. “Soon enough all of you will want to know the truth, will be compelled to ask questions, and May will be compelled to answer.” The voice laughs and for a second Phil thought it sounded familiar but then dismissed it - all villains laugh the same. “This should be interesting.”

“A drug like that doesn’t exist,” Jemma says. “And truth serums are incredibly unreliable,” she adds. “Aren’t they?” She bites her lip. “Aren’t they, May?” She covers her mouth. 

“Working that quickly huh, perhaps because of the sedative in your system still,” the voice says. “I’ll make a note, have fun.”

Melinda is biting her lip, and then says, “No, not all are unreliable, a couple work very well.” She smirks a little. “I think this one will work very well.”

“How well?” Daisy asks and then curses. “Sorry, don’t answer that,” she says and then immediately bends over with stomach cramps. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, how well does it work, May?”

Phil wraps an arm around Daisy and never takes his eyes off of Melinda. 

“I would suggest not asking any questions you don’t want the answer to,” Melinda says.

“This is pointless,” Mack shouts. “Because May has training, we all have training for this shit.”

“I...actually don’t?” Daisy pointed out. “When you think about it, my training was really haphazard.”

Everyone is quiet for a moment as they think about Daisy’s missing training. Mack looks over at Yo Yo. “Babe?”

She shrugs. “I can cope.”

Mack smiles at her, of course she can. “But we won’t ask the questions they want us to, we don’t know what they want.”

“We do,” Phil says. “We are guinea pigs. I mean if they learn any secrets of SHIELD, yipee for them, but we are their proper clinical trial for this.” Phil closes his eyes. His brain is running fast and he can’t control it, a million questions rolling through. “And smart, we all have a ton of questions we’ve been itching to ask May, because she’s the quietest of us, and doesn’t exactly invite intrusion into her life. Why don’t you ever wear pink, May?” Phil slaps a hand over his mouth, that was not supposed to come out.

Melinda turns her head and gives him the you are such an idiot look that she perfected 20 years ago. “Because I would look like shit in it,” she says.

“May, you care about how you look?” Fitz asks from his cell.

May gives him her iciest glare. “I’m human aren’t I? I look good in neutrals, SHIELD gear comes in neutrals, I wear that.”

Jemma nods to herself. “Right, don’t ask anything important, be ridiculous until this stuff wears off or we pass out again, some truth serums do make you pass out again at some point. What conditioner do you use? Because even when you have blood and bits of bone in your hair, it still looks really good.”

“It is whatever SHIELD issues,” Melinda says. “Same as everyone gets.”

“SHIELD doesn’t give conditioner,” Yo Yo replies. “I’ve been buying Herbal Essences.”

Melinda smiles and breathes because that was a statement not a question.

Mack looks at all the women like they are crazy. “May, you get SHIELD issued bath supplies?”

Fitz perks up. “I don’t,” he adds. “May, you really do?”

“The bag at your locker, on the first of the month,” May answers. “Soap, shampoo, conditioner, both dry and wet, lotion, and preferred menstruation product.”

“I get about half that,” Daisy says and Jemma and Yo Yo agree.

“We don’t get anything!” Mack is annoyed. “I want to smell nice too.”

Yo Yo snorts, “you smell fine to me.”

Melinda pauses. “Phil?”

“I’m only compelled to ask questions not answer them,” Phil says swiftly. Daisy gives him a look. 

“Hey, May, what are the chances those bags are left personally by Phil for his team, because he is a secret softy, and actually listened about us idly complaining about the quality of soap that could be found around the base?”

“100%,” Melinda says.

Phil wants to steer the conversation away from this. “May, what’s your private have to boogie to it no matter what song?”

All eyes immediately snap to Melinda, because this should be interesting.

“Can’t you ask me for nuke codes?” May replies, trying to fight the drug but it has her panting and cursing in pain. “Duran Duran, Hungry Like the Wolf.”

“80s? Really?” Daisy asks.

Melinda gives her a look, “Shut up, I’m old.”

“Not so old,” Phil says. “About the same as me.”

“Yeah, but you are old too.” Daisy wants to fill the space with more boring chapter but there is that itch in her brain. “Shit, shit, shit, what do I ask?” And she realizes that would work. “May what do I ask you?”

“Movies, food, how much I love Phil, which plane is my favourite, hell ask me about Bahrain for all I fucking care right now,” Melinda says through gritted teeth. She hates how this drug feels under her skin. All her skills to calm herself aren’t working and Melinda wants to tear the guys apart that are currently holding guns on her. But the room has gone a different sort of quiet and she looks up. “Why do you all look like that?” Melinda asks staring at the pure shock on everyone’s face. And Phil is turning red.

“Don’t,” Phil orders everyone. “Do not engage on that middle point. May, what is the best way to infiltrate a lockdown airport hangar?” Phil speaks quickly and is sure that will take her a while to explore and that way no one can ask her about how much she loves him. Because of course she meant that as a coworker and best friend. She didn’t mean it like love love.

Melinda nods and begins to talk and talk making it as complex and detailed as possible. She is getting exhausted and can the others are too, the big plus here seemed to be that this drug is knocking them back out pretty quickly. She feels herself getting sleepy. 

“May?” Phil asks. “Are you okay?”

“Sleepy,” she says. “I like when you ask the questions. Ask me another question Phil.”

Daisy slaps a hand over Phil’s mouth. “Someone?”

“Favourite kill?” Mack asks.

“Anyone who hurt Phil,” she slurs.

“Fuck,” Jemma curses. She blinks her eyes are getting heavy. Something neutral. “Do you like mornings or night?”

“Night, when Phil and I are the only ones awake and it is quiet and perfect.”

“She is going to kill us all in the morning,” Fitz says. “I have one. Favourite Muppet?”

“Fozzie for the dad jokes, like Phil.”

“We have got to stop her,” Mack says.

  
“It’s romantic,” Yo Yo counters. She smiles at Mack. Fitz is the first to pass out always so sensitive to drugs, and Jemma is next. Daisy’s hand slides off Phil’s mouth and he catches her fall. Mack and Yo Yo fall, eyes never off of each other.

Phil sinks to his knees trying to keep looking at Melinda but the edges of his eyes are feeling blurry. “Do you love me as much as I love you?” he asks. He passes out seeing her lips move but not hearing the answer.

************************

“Oh my hair got in the syrup,” Daisy groans. They all wake up on the exact stool they had been captured on, food in front of them. It would be gross except it is fresh food, all still hot. “What the fuck was that about?” She looks at everyone and they all seem to be there, and other than grogginess no one seems hurt. “Anyone, any ideas?”

Phil shakes his head. This was weird even for them. “May?”

“I want to kill people,” she says.

“Are you on the hunt?” Mack asks innocently.

“Don’t,” she warns.

“Are you lost and found?” Jemma asks and soon most of them are singing Hungry Like the Wolf at Melinda.

Melinda decides to ignore them and eat her food, the drugs having made her starving. Eventually they all wind down and she notices that Phil didn’t sing. “Phil?”

“Did you answer my last question?” he asks.

Jemma frowns and leans to look at him. “She did,” she reminds. “Infiltration, remember. We really need to get back to the base and all of us tested.”

“We need to find out who did this to us,” Daisy counters and Mack nods.

Melinda and Phil are ignoring them all. They stare at each other. They wait for the other to talk but neither can start - they are both scared to start.

“I’m a little offended that Mack and I don’t get the nice hygiene products,” Fitz says. “I have hair, it needs conditioning.”

“Yeah, boss, hook a man up with some decent soap,” Mack adds.

“Oh my god, are you two having a moment?” Daisy asks looking at Melinda and Phil. “Shit they are having a moment about how she said she loved Phil.”

“She didn’t say that, we misheard her,” Phil says creating an out for May. He still hasn’t taken his eyes off her.

“And the other answers?” Yo Yo asks. “They seemed rather focused on you.”

“Drugs are crazy things,” Phil says.

Melinda looks away from him and eats some food and then drinks her water. “No, I love you,” she says and keeps eating.

“Right, everyone out,” Mack says. “These two need some not us around.” They noisily leave Melinda and Phil alone and the two just eat and stare at the wall in front of them until they are just about done the meal.

“Did you answer my last question?” Phil asks again.

“More,” she says.

“Not possible,” Phil answers.

“Pretty possible,” she counters.

“We are not going to be the sort of couple who argues about who loves who more,” Phil says.

“That suggests we are going to be a couple,” Melinda replies. “We should have some pie. Diners always have great pie.”

“Hey, get kidnapped and drugged and via the drugs admit you are in love is a hell of a story to tell the kids about how we got together.”

Melinda looks at him in horror. “We are not having kids.”

“It’s a saying, the kids we already have are enough.” Phil flags the waitress down and soon they have pie. “You are the only one I got conditioner for. It was how I showed you that I loved you.”

“I thought your big declaration was taking a bullet for me, rescuing me, us coming back from the dead for each other, or -”

“Okay we have years of telling each other that we love each other and just never realized it,” Phil cuts into the pie. “Oh this is good pie.”

Melinda looks at the slice in front of her and takes Phil’s fork and eats some of his. “Mmmm, it is,” she agrees and licks her lips.

“Subtle,” he says.

“We’ve been subtle a long time, think we’re done with it.” Melinda pulls his head in and kisses him, tasting the apple of the pie and the staleness that comes from multiple druggings.

“We have to find out who did this,” Phil says when they break apart.

“After we finish the pie,” Melinda suggests.

“Are you really going to kill them, because right now I vote a thank you fruit basket.” Phil steals his fork back.

“We’ll put a bomb in the bottom of the fruit basket, gives them a fair chance.” Melinda points at the door and yet again steals the fork.

They ignore the whole team watching them through the window and finish sharing the pie before they get ready to find out who did this to them.

Phil knew just the place to get a fruit basket, Melinda a bomb.

*****************************

The first of the next month, both Fitz and Mack call out a thank you to Phil for the toiletry bag.

Melinda smiles as she opens hers and finds a note that says

 

_ Love, Phil _

_ Don’t tell them about your bonus _ .

 

She looks at the high quality lip balm and smiles. Kissing Phil has made her lips awfully chapped.

Not that she minds.


End file.
